If there’s one question I get asked almost on a daily basis, it’s a version of this one:
“What’s going on with your adoption?”
or this one…
“What’s taking so long?”
or this one…
“Are you going to be able to adopt soon? What’s the hold up?”
So, for those questioning (either vocally or not) souls, I thought I’d provide a few answers to some basic questions soon. 🙂
First, though, let me say that you don’t have to be afraid to ask us about our adoption process. We aren’t offended in the slightest by questions and understand (and appreciate) people’s curiosity. That being said, just know that we may very well not have the concrete answers for which you’re seeking. We really aren’t trying to be “secretive,” “vague,” or wanting to “hide” anything from you. We also aren’t going to lie to you. If we don’t know the answer, or in rare, rare instances would prefer not to answer, we aren’t afraid to say so.
Adoption, by its very nature, just comes with a lot of unknowns, especially when it comes to timing. If you think that’s frustrating to you, imagine being in our shoes. 😉
We realize you aren’t in our shoes, though, and may very well not have another connection to adoption, so that’s why you might be a bit confused, intrigued, or both. That’s totally OK! There’s nothing to be ashamed about when it comes to not exactly understanding the odds and ends of our journey, especially the personal ones; we don’t really expect (nor want) you psycho-analyzing us from the outside looking in, so don’t feel the need to try. Honestly, especially if you don’t really know us, you most likely will never understand all of it, as much of how being called to adopt (and us losing a child of our own in the process) has affected me and my husband on an individual and corporate basis is extremely personal and has taken – and probably in some way will continue to take – us years to fully grasp. Our own family and friends don’t always “get” from where we’re coming, so we certainly don’t expect someone just following our blog to ever fully understand certain things.
All we can promise you is our honesty, not necessarily that our adoption journey – in a personal or tangible sense – will make perfect sense to you. Through the ups and downs of the process, we’re here to share and help as much as we can. We hope you glean a lot of useful information (both on a tangible and personal level) as we continue to move forward with, and share about, our plans of, Lord-willing, becoming a family of three (or four) through the beautiful gift of adoption in 2014. We hope that information will help you down the road, whether you feel called to also adopt or are a part of an adoptive mother or father’s support system. After all, if there’s one thing I’ve learned the past year as one who is adopting, it’s that you definitely need all the emotional support you can get; sadly, not everyone will be excited about your journey.
I’ve also learned that people certainly have lots of questions about adoption, about both the process itself and how walking through it affects those who have sojourned that winding path. Tons of questions abound in people’s minds. Many others have the same questions but are afraid to ask. Well, no need to fear anymore.