A House Is Not A Home

My house doesn’t feel like my home when my husband’s away.

Sure, I still like the place. I appreciate having a roof over my head, a heater and indoor facilities, etc. I still admire my long, cabin red (that’s my color, not my house, though it does look super cozy) accent wall each time I walk through my living room or dining room  and appreciate the warmth that the Christmas tree brings to the place this time of year. I just don’t really consider it “home” when he’s not here.

Home for me is wherever he is.

That just happens to be over 5 hours away right now.

I could never be the wife of a man in the military that is required to be deployed overseas for months at a time. My husband leaves for a week each year, and I miss him so much you’d think he was gone for a year.

I just love my husband, and I love our simple life together.

Now I’m faced with a ton of free time in the evenings, and I’m having a hard time grasping what exactly to do with it. I’m so used to spending my time thinking about how to serve my husband, talking to him, cuddling with him, praying with him; you get the picture.

This week is not your average week. I’m living the “single” life again. I can go wherever I want, whenever I want, and not need to make sure someone knows when I’m going to be home.  I can stay up as late as I want and have all the covers when I do finally crawl into bed. I can blast my favorite tunes all hours of the night. I can go to dinner with friends and not feel guilty for leaving my hubby home with leftovers. I can be on my phone all night, if I want. I can ditch the routines which I married into, and have now become so accustomed, and embrace spontaneity, something for which I clamor when life seems way too monotonous.

Though I miss you, I have been thoroughly enjoying the lack of structure my week has had. Now, as for if my usually extremely clean house has, probably not so much. 😉

If given a choice between my very-crazy-but-oh-so-fun life in the past or the sometimes-mind-numbing-but-always-with-a-purpose structure under which you most comfortably operate,  surprisingly to me, I’d pick the latter.
I’d pick it because you come with the package.
Simply put, I’d always pick home.

Before I was married, I was far from a homebody. I used to thrive off of never being at home, trying to cram as many things – and people – into my day as humanely possible and then some. Now, you can find me perfectly content laying on the couch watching the news with my beau with not a care in the world. I don’t need my phone attached to my ear 24/7 anymore, nor do I need to cloud my mind – and schedule – with a million things in order to feel productive and therefore at peace.

No, peace is found in the simplicity of my life here at home, with you…

 

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