Get Naked – I Did

*Note – This post is not on being naked, at least literally speaking, but I got you interested, didn’t I? 🙂 We’ll cover that topic another time, though.  Just not today.  I’m still here to proclaim nakedness, though, just in another way.

So, c’mon, get naked with me as we discuss….

Fear.

If you recall, I am trying to live fearlessly this year. I do think that my year-long quest to consciously acknowledge and then give my fears to God is helping, but much to my dismay, I still haven’t “arrived”.

I am not alone.
On our own, we all fear something.
At some point, we all doubt our capacity for greatness where we feel the weakest.

Some people’s fears are seen as “big”, some “small”.

For the one affected, it doesn’t matter how others would classify their fear.

It’s real, as real as you and me.

The fear isn’t just real, it relentlessly taunts.

When fear’s venomous verbal and physical assault on its victim doesn’t work, its best friend, doubt, takes its turn.

Doubt’s attack is less violent but just, if not more, sinister.

In its cunning, tailor-made way, it, like fear, paralyzes us and tries to ensure we don’t believe the Truth.

The Truth?
The Enemy lies.
The Enemy ostracizes.
The Enemy is the author of fear and doubt.
Even if what causes our fears doesn’t go away, we are more than conquerors.
One day, He truly will make all things new.

As Natalie Grant says,

Every fear has no place
At the sound of Your great name.
The enemy has to leave
at the sound of Your great name.

What do you fear today?

It’s amazing how acknowledging your fear to others lessens its grip on your heart and your mind.

So, I’ll go first. I’ll get emotionally naked and share.

I have one huge fear in my life.

It’s not death.
It’s not heights (would love to go sky diving).
It’s not needles (grew up with those).
It’s not public speaking (thrive off that).
It’s not mice nor bats, though I hate both.

What, then, you ask?
The incapability to successfully carry our child and provide my husband with his biological offspring.
In a nutshell – the fear of “disappointing” my husband, the fear of “failing” in the area you’re “supposed to” succeed at as a woman. 

I put “disappointing”, “failing” and “supposed to” in quotes, because that’s exactly where they belong.

Truth tells me I’m not going to be disappointing or failing anyone, that I’m just as much a woman as one of my numerous friends who are currently with, or have given birth to, a child, even though fear and doubt tell me something else, something from the pit of Hell.

Thankfully, I have a Heavenly Father and a husband who see me differently than I see myself some days.

I also know our journey to parenthood has only begun, and there are difficult decisions to be made in our future.

At the same time, I know that my God is good and sovereign over all. Nothing will ever change that fact.

So, now that I feel extremely naked – vulnerable but free – what do you fear?

Will you get naked, too?

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6 Comments

Filed under Life

6 responses to “Get Naked – I Did

  1. The two big fears I’m struggling with right now are:

    1. That I will hate living overseas. That every day I will want to come home. (I know this isn’t true, but it’s just a lie the enemy whispers in my ear from time to time.)
    2. That for some reason, I won’t be able to have children either.

    It’s a constant process of learning and re-learning to trust in Jesus. I wish I could just learn it once, but apparently, that’s not the case. 🙂

  2. Emily

    Such an honest post. Parenthood is inevitable… You are a wonderful, caring and successful woman. Plus, God wouldn’t waste your great organization and multi-tasking skills!! All in good time ❤

    My fear is not being successful at being both the mother and father role and raising my daughter with the proper values, morals and groundedness I hope for her to have! After all, what kind of girl poops behind the neighbor's shed at a baby shower 😉

  3. http://morningswithjesus.wordpress.com/2010/12/15/to-glorify-my-king/

    Amber,
    My heart hurts with you because I understand your hurt and fear. Although different circumstances, I too watch as all my friends one by one have child, after child, and yet another child! Friends who started trying to get pregnant after me have children that are year old or more. It got to a point where I had to stop going to baby showers. There are days when the enemy traps me into a place of complete hollowness. Like tonight, I’m sitting here at home, alone. And I imagine the laughter of little Craig’s who look just like their daddy…
    I shared this link to my blog because I just wanted you to not feel so alone in your struggle. I have written more but it’s not open to public yet. I would like to someday publish a book about my journey.
    There are days when I thank God joyfully for this trial of unmet desperation to be a mother. Because I have learned and know to the marrow of my bones that He is enough. And I know that you know that. Lifting you up in prayer and may Satan be under your feet!
    2 Cor 12:8-9!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Cindy

  4. Oh and sorry…my fears…

    1.) That I will not accomplish the destiny God has in mind for me. What I desire with all my being is to teach the Word of God to young women and write. But I can’t see how it will ever happen and I feel very inadaquate.

    2.) Loss. I am alone A. LOT. I am believing that God is using this time to mold me but I become very lonely and I’m afraid that I will end up alone, losing someone very close to me.
    Ahhhhh Satan, you have NO PLACE HERE!

  5. Wow, this is tough! Thank you for opening up and sharing your fear! I’m struggling with the fact that my wife and I have not been able to get pregnant again. Our son is 5 years old and starts school in the fall. We have been trying for quite some time. I guess it’s just not in God’s plans right now.

    As for my greatest fear, it is the unknown. I very much fear the things I am not prepared for. There’s a lot of things I could share as an example of this, but I have one story that shows it pretty well. We were going to the Outer Banks of North Carolina several years ago and I saw a sign that said tunnel ahead. I was ok with a tunnel because we’ve been through the mountains many times. Then I noticed the tunnel was actually going under water. That is when my fear and panic completely set in. I struggled to breathe until we came out the other side. Now, we went through the same tunnels this year, but they didn’t bother me because I knew they were there and that they went under the water

  6. Thanks for posting this Amber! I really enjoy your blog and your honesty! I completely agree that our fears are what hold us back in life.

    In the spirit of “getting naked” I have to say that my biggest fear is that I will never be able to fulfill God’s role for my life completely. Sometimes I feel so confident in what I am doing and that it is His purpose for my life and other times I feel lost and confused as to what His purpose is. I suppose with more time dedicated to thought and prayer, I can figure it all out. However, as someone who constantly doubts myself and my abilities, I often get thrown off my path and lost in self depracation and again, doubts.

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