A few days ago, I came across this quote from Pastor Pete Wilson’s blog and fell in love with it.

More suffering comes into the world by people taking offense
than by people intending to give offense.
– Ken Keyes

I tend to be a pretty easy-going, very-hard-to-offend person.

Others in my life – not so much.

“Touchy” is a good word to describe them. I still love them, though.

I’ve never really understood the easily offended. Life’s short. The idea of spending much of my life talking , or worse yet passively stewing, about how so-and-so hurt me – intentional or not – doesn’t sound appealing.

Now, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t times we need to admit we’ve been offended.  That can be hard but vitally important for intimacy in relationships. Let’s face it, though, the quote is true.

Many times we are offended because there’s something going on in us.

We need to give people the benefit of the doubt.

Sometimes, even though I hate to admit it, I need to do that, too.

With whom, you ask?

My husband.

I sometimes expect impossible feats out of one human being, one finite human like myself.

He’s a man of few words (opposites do attract), so I have a bad tendency to analyze every word said – or not said – to the millionth degree. Every angle. Every voice inflection. I just want to know he’s happy with me, thinks I’m the most beautiful woman in the world, loves me for me, etc. etc. When he makes a harmless joke or doesn’t give me the words of affirmation I desire, I can get all uptight and insecure.

When I do, there’s something going on in me. I can put way too much pressure on myself and on him. 

I need to give him the benefit of the doubt.
I need to give myself the benefit of the doubt.

I need to not be so touchy.

What about you?



Filed under Marriage

3 responses to “Touchy.

  1. ken

    truth is that relationships can be difficult since we are all created uniquely and sometimes we assume our wiring and thoughts are “the way it is supposed to be.” yet love languages, level of extroversion, family origin issues, gender differences, relationship expectations, and every humans sinful habits all can build walls. Knowing your own heart, and knowing God’s heart allows us to love more like Christ.

  2. Jennifer Griffin

    Amen to this! I am the SAME WAY! 🙂

  3. Giving each other the benefit of the doubt is a huge part of our marriage. Sometimes we need to call each other out on it, too, when the other person hasn’t done that. We even included it in our vows it’s so important to us, I think it has saved us from a lot of unnecessary arguments!

    Women especially struggle with this, I think. I hope to always be someone who assumes the best of others, and I like to surround myself with people who do, too. Not only is there more freedom in relationships with others who feel the same about this, but there is also more accountability in them as well. I appreciate it when others point out that I’m not giving someone the benefit of the doubt. Great thoughts, Amber!

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