25 – Part #2

In case you missed part #1, I’m currently in the midst of writing a two-part “25 in 25” list.

The first part focused on individual goals I’d like to accomplish while I’m 25. The second part is going to focus on goals I’m making for myself as a wife, as a helpmate to my best friend, John. I don’t claim to know everything, or much of anything, yet about being a life partner, but I know one thing: I am blessed to be a wife and take my responsibility very seriously. On November 7, 2009, I left my single, spontaneous life to come a part of a much grander story — the story of us.

Many have called me an “old soul”. I guess that’s what happens when life takes you down the twists and turns in which I have been. It’s hard to not cherish every day, every moment when you have seen the end of your life just a split second from you, or so it seemed at the time, and come back on the other side. You can’t walk away from that and not be changed. This “seize the day” attitude translates over in the most evident way in my marriage. I know tomorrow may never come, so that’s why, besides my relationship with Christ, my relationship with John comes first. It always has and always will, even when we have children. I know no other way to live.

On the other hand, though, I’m learning (slowly) that just because I’m married now, that doesn’t mean that I have to completely lose myself in the “story of us”. After all, if I neglect – and then somehow forget – what makes me me, and get so caught up in trying to please John than in just being myself and being secure in His – and his – love for me, then that’s no good, either. Ah, the balance. It’s so hard to find sometimes, but I digress.

Part #2 – Goals as a Wife (in no particular order, except #s 1-5)

1. Love Jesus first; love my husband second.

2. Always give John the benefit of the doubt.

3. Always give myself the benefit of the doubt (at least try).

4. Pray for my husband at least 5 times during the work day.

5. Compliment him at least three times a day and ask “What can I do to serve you?” every day.

6. Be a good steward of our resources by continuing to keep the heat low, not using unnecessary lights, etc.

7.  Continue to sharpen my couponing skills. I love coupons.

8. Bring as much income as possible into the home to help pay off his school debt.

9. Continue to respect his very regimented nature and find purpose in it.

10. Continue to make our home “homey” by respecting his tastes but using my much bolder ones to compliment.

11. Continue to work on my cooking skills and not be intimidated by his.

12. Plans meals in advance, so I don’t feel bogged down in the middle of the week.

13. Work on always being physically attractive, which is hard when you work from home in sweats all day.

14.  Continue to fulfill his sexual needs & make him feel loved and wanted in bed. Sorry, Grandma. 🙂

15. Work on finding more “me” time, so I’m not burnt out and able to be a better servant when we’re together.

16. Try not to be over-sensitive (dumb hormones!)  but also not afraid to communicate how I’m feeling.

17. Patiently allow him time to slowly process when I’m already 20,000 steps ahead. This one’s really hard.

18.  Remember that John loves me for me, not for the stuff I do for him. Same goes with Jesus.

19. Continue to be my spontaneous, outgoing self and bring that side out of him, as well.

20. Listen intently at all times.

21. Don’t worry about the past nor the future but embrace the present, instead.

22. Continue to keep the house well-kept at all times. My man is one of extreme order.

23. Get rid of my Crackberry.

24. Find the balance between meeting and respecting John’s needs & embracing my oh-so-different-needs, as well.

25. Convince John to paint the sun room a bold color, like turquoise. 🙂



Filed under Marriage

8 responses to “25 – Part #2

  1. Hmm…my computer is being strange. I love your lists is what I was saying! I remember when I was first married, working on many of the same things. The effort you put in will pay off in so many wonderful ways. God bless you and your marriage this year!

  2. Joe

    Hi, I found your blog via Leslie McCraken’s. Do you live in Lowell? If so, there is a marriage conference at Impact on the 11th and 12th of Feb. I really think you’ll enjoy the weekend. I will be talking about things like 3 ways to talk about anything in your marriage and still build your spouse up, four dangerous communication patterns that couples tend to find themselves in. Also, about some science that talks about the greatest way to protect your marriage.
    It’s going to be a great time.
    I hope to see you there (assuming you live somewhere in the area). 🙂

    • Joe,
      I wish I did live in Lowell. I’d love to go to your conference! I actually live in Ohio and met Leslie through a mutual friend. Thank you for the invite, though!

      • Joe

        Oh, well hopefully next year we will be coming to Ohio. My wife is from Elyria area and we lived in the Cincy area for a while. I also have friends in the Columbus area so we are hoping to hit at least 2 of those areas next year.
        Take care!

  3. Joe – I live in Lowell! Crazy small world, and I know right where Impact is. I’ll have to check my calendar and their site and see if we can make it to your conference!

    • Joe

      Excellent. I just spent a few moments poking around your blog. If you come to conference be sure to introduce yourself. We too moved here from Ohio to start a new chapter. That was four years ago, it’s been quite an adventure. You can find our conference page on Facebook by searching for Hopes and Dreams. If you have any questions feel free to contact me.

  4. I think this is a great list, and many of those items could be on my “Wife Goal List” as well. Thanks for posting!

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